Watch “The Today Show” and the segment called “The Other View” where dating coaches Matthew Hussey and, in this episode- Laurel House, give their he said/she said dating tips when it comes to being single, being coupled, and being social during the holiday season.
***(SCROLL DOWN TO WATCH A VIDEO OF THE TODAY SHOW SEGMENT!)***
Matthew Hussey and I answer viewer questions when it comes to the sometimes sticky, stressful, and downright shitty holiday dating situations:
KALEE FROM NEW YORK ASKS: WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE SINGLE AND DEALING WITH THE QUESTION OF “OH ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?”
LAUREL’S ANSWER: Even if the fact that you’re “still” single is seriously letting you down, resist your urge to: A- Bite the persons head off for touching on a sore spot, or B- Throw yourself a pity party. Why? You’ll just bring down the joyful energy in the room. Instead, have a positive attitude, talk about the great things that you have been up to, the new project that you are overseeing in your job, or the safari that you just got back from. And don’t be shy to throw in “But, yes, I’m single and looking, so if you know anyone…” I have heard numerous stories of grandmas who set up their granddaughter with “the nice boy at her doctor’s office.”
***WATCH THE TODAY SHOW SEGMENT BELOW***
CHLOE WANTS TO KNOW: HOW TO DEAL WITH A CONTROLLING FATHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW…
LAUREL’S ANSWER:The last thing you ever want to do is come between your partner and their parents. It is not your place to get snappy with your in-laws, either to their face or to your partner. Instead, have a conversation with your partner and voice your concerns. Be honest and direct, yet loving and open-minded. Come up with a conclusion and path of action together, then have him have a conversation with his parents.
HOLLY WROTE IN ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND ASKING…: HOW DO I KNOW IF HE’S READY TO MEET MY FAMILY? I DON’T WANT TO ASK HIM TO HOLIDAY DINNER TOO SOON AND HAVE THINGS BECOME AWKWARD, BUT I ALSO DON’T WANT HIM TO FEEL LEFT OUT…
LAUREL’S ANSWER: This is another conversation with your partner. Talk about holiday traditions within your families. If there’s a dinner party, who attends, what special dishes do you eat, what makes it such a festive occasion for you. After explaining how much fun yours is, then you can say “of course, I’d love you to join. I think you’d really enjoy it.” I prefer the “I’d love you to join,” as opposed to the you’re welcome to join” approach because “you’re welcome to…” sounds like a backhanded invite, like “I don’t really want to invite you, but since I feel obligated to I will…” While “I’d love you to join” shows that you would like them there, but you aren’t pressuring him. You are giving an invitation to join without being pushy, being awkward, or making him feel left out.
MARIANA FROM NEW JERSEY ASKS…: WHAT ARE THE EXPECTATIONS WHEN YOU’RE THE GUEST AT YOUR PARTNER’S FAMILY’S HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS…HOW DO YOU LEAVE EVERYONE WITH A GREAT IMPRESSION?
LAUREL’S ANSWER: Be yourself. So many people try to put on a show. They talk about their accomplishments like they are reading their bio as they try to sell themselves to the family, hoping, or more like begging them to like you. Don’t do that. It feels too forced. Be your natural self. The person who your guy fell in love with. Strike up conversations with family members. It’s a good idea to have a conversation with your partner ahead of time in order to get the basic scoop on a few people who you might have something in common with. Then strike up real conversations with as many people as you can. You don’t have to sell yourself in order for them to buy what a great person you are.