Dating is different when you have a child.
Your needs and not just your own. Stable, consistent, and kind, are traits that are now somehow more weighed than hot, stimulating, and wild (it’s a balance…).
You have baggage. And that’s not a bad thing. It simply is. Depending on your dating intention (if you’re looking for Mr./Mrs. For Now or Mr./Mrs. Forever), if, when, and how you share the news that you have a handsome little man or a beautiful little woman waiting for you at home differs.
While dependability, routine, and schedules are musts; so is a gentle understanding that the baby might have a meltdown, custody can be complicated, the kid could come down with lice, the nanny flaked, your ex is sometimes late to pick up (or early to drop off) your son… or you’re just simply exhausted- and that’s ok too.
For women (and sometimes men too) your body has changed since having a child. You may have stretch marks, a bikini-line scar marking your child’s entrance, or you’re carrying some extra weight.
Those early hours that you used to spend at the gym, have been replaced by morning nursing, early school drop off, or attempting to squeeze in some much needed sleep.
Those late nights that you used to spend dancing on tables (or out at a bar or restaurant), just aren’t happening anymore.
For some, going on a date and having the “I’m a parent” conversation is scary, as you wait for the weight of it all to be too heavy for your prospective partner.
Parenting is one of the most deliciously fulfilling experiences of your life. But it shouldn’t define your life. It’s time to make your love life a priority again… and not feel bad about it.
Because, yes, your child does need you. But if you arrange for child care, he’ll be ok without you for a few hours.
Yes, you may have gained some weight that you can’t seem to drop, you have more gray hairs, lines, and bags, your boobs aren’t as perky as they used to be and you still have stretch marks on your stomach and breasts. But the reality is that you are your biggest critic and, while you examine your skin with a microscope, he doesn’t. You are still you. And if you allow yourself, you are an even better you thanks to the natural parent calm and confidence that exudes from you- and that isn’t just sexy, it’s something that people look for in a lifelong partner.
Yes, you don’t need him/her and you can do it yourself. But wouldn’t it feel amazing to not always have to be so fortified? Wouldn’t it feel great to know that you can let your guard down and everything will be ok? Wouldn’t it feel comforting to let someone else nurture you, make you the priority, and treat you like you are the most amazing thing in their life?
Yes, you may have lost yourself in your last relationship or in parenthood, but you can and you have to find you again. You are still interesting. Even more so now that you are a parent. Because doing it yourself says a lot about who you are, what you are capable of, and what you bring to the table. Now it’s time to allow the other facets of you come out.
And here’s the other reality- if you truly wanted to be the best parent you can be, you need to model what love is, what a partnership is, what respect is, what support is, what a healthy relationship is… for your child. Be the example of what you want your child to grow up to be and to have.
Enough with the excuses.
You deserve to be loved and cherished too.
You deserve to look in the mirror and see sexiness.
It’s time to put some effort into your love life so that you can find love again.
But how? and What type of partner should you look for and what signs should you look out for?
How do you authentically feel sexy and strong again?
How do you make yourself the priority and rediscover yourself without being a delinquent parent?
What do you do? What do you say? How do you not sabotage it by doing/saying the wrong thing online, in text, email, phone, or in person?
That’s what I can help you with…