Do you want to know the secret to getting someone to open up? Whether it’s with a first date, a friend, or even a sibling who you want to become closer with, there is one simple technique that creates an almost immediate deep connection. I call it “I’ll Show You Mine, Then You Show Me Yours.”
Be honest, have you fortified your heart with a combination of lists, daily stresses, judgment, pain, and scars that, when packed on top of each other adds up to a virtually impenetrable barricade?
Is your heart hidden behind a secure wall, yet you wonder why you don’t feel love?
Let me tell you something… Of course you aren’t going to FEEL love because you are blocking it!
You have to make a conscious decision to drop it, to let someone in. If you only allow that to happen when you totally trust, when there are no fears of pain, no possibility of heartache or let down… you are wasting time and getting to know each other under false fabricated pretenses.
Slowly you allow the layers that you have built up to fold down, exposing a bit more, getting slightly closer to your core. And then, once your onion is peeled, you feel weak, exposed, and vulnerable. And within that space, that’s when you finally start to allow them in, giving access to your heart so that you can finally feel their love.
Watch the video below, or click THIS link to see what I mean by “I’ll Show You Mine…”
But how long does that take? How long are you willing to wait to be real, to feel? Sometimes that wait is too long and then what?
Well, there are many things that could happen:
-He thinks you’re fun and sweet and everything, but you’re bland, there’s nothing about you that really stands out for all of the other fun and sweet women out there. You’re not memorable. He just doesn’t feel anything for you. So he moves on.
-You lose them because you refused to open up, and you refused to let them in.
-Your relationship is built on superficial interests and founded on a façade that isn’t actually you.
-You don’t feel “loved.” You are upset that the relationship isn’t deep enough and you aren’t moving forward… because he doesn’t trust you, you don’t trust him, and you haven’t dug into the relationship into a depth that warrants the next step.
-You get married and then you realize who he really is, and he realizes who you really are…
-Your relationship slowly opens and you continue to grow together, peeling your onions on your own comfortable pace, and you continue to click! It just takes longer to get there- which is fine if you’re not on a timeframe.
If you’re really ready to create a substantive connection, one that breaks down barriers and opens up the possibility for real love, then take that leap of faith and let down your guard. Yes, you could get hurt, but you could also experience a deep well of love that saturates every cell of your body and enlivens your soul.
So how do you get vulnerable and be revealing without scaring them away? It’s called Framing Your Stories- which I teach in my dating coaching sessions… Send me an email and lets start working together. Because you deserve to feel that amazingly connected, that understood, that seen.