Have You Ever Lost You In A Relationship?

Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship? Or maybe you lost yourself in your work? Suddenly you wake up and you don’t recognize you. You don’t know you. You have become defined by a singular or maybe two things…
Ever experience that?
I have. A few times actually.
I used to define myself by my career- “I am Laurel, and I’m a writer.”
Then I defined myself by my relationship- “I am Laurel, and I am X’s girlfriend.”
Problem is… neither of those are me!
I am a combination of several things, things that define me, give me confidence and form my existence. They are my core values.
Imagine a cake. You’ve got frosting and cake. Right?

Both are essential in order for it to feel complete.
You are a cake.
Your Core Value and your Purpose (which we will go over another day) make up the bready cake.
Your femininity, flirting, and X Appeal (which we will talk about later) are the frosting.

Combined… you are a “total package!”

Because you’re not Just pretty, Just successful, Just a mom, Just a writer, Just anything! You are who you are at your core.

Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single, you have got to define and own your core values in order to stay strong on who you are.

SO I want you to take a real, deep, hard, honest look at yourself.

Who you are?

What’s most important to you?

Where do you stand when it comes to priorities in life?

What do you stand for?

…Those are your Core Values- the values that you will not budge on. They are your foundation.

Some of them you may have been instilled from your upbringing, others from life experiences. They are deeply rooted and unwavering. To help you think about what your core values here are a few ideas:

-Commitment and Loyalty


-Love and Appreciation of Dogs



-Strong yet Fragile






-Emotional Growth

-Physical Activity



Sit and think about what you stand for. If it helps, think about your family, your upbringing, the values that you were raised with. Do you still believe them? Have they altered for some reason? Have you created your own values based on experiences or personal awakenings and awareness that may have shifted your beliefs? These are not values that you want your partner to have. This is all about you. This is your definition of self, your blueprint, the structure of all that is you.

You might find that you start with a long list, then realize that many of the values are actually more like sub-categories within another over-arching value. Narrow your list down to 7.

Once you come up with your Core Values, write a paragraph description that helps define each value. For example: What does family mean?

Next, make it personal to you and write why that value is central to who you are. What experience, feeling, memory, or belief contributed to its importance, how does each value appears in your life, and how do you embody them?