Dating DOESN’T Suck in LA

You’re wrong. Dating doesn’t suck in LA, so stop blaming the city for your singleness. In fact, it’s a great place to date! If you don’t think so, then I suggest you take a serious look at your dating style, face-fixation, and pickup places.

You say you want to be in a relationship, yet you keep your conversations shallow. Then you wonder why you can’t find someone of substance.

You say you are looking for someone who has more to offer than just a pretty face, then you can’t look past it!

You say you want someone who is interesting and has a life, then you hang out at the same spots where players, posers, wannabes, and losers sip their overpriced martinis, their glazed-over eyes gazing over the shoulder of whomever their speaking to, as they look for someone new.

Get out of your very small, one-dimensional dating puddle, and let me introduce you to the very big, tide pool-like dating city of LA, where there are lots of mini worlds filled with an array of different types within its 272 neighborhoods.

I was born and bred in this city. In fact, I’m a second generation West Angeleno. And while my parents still live in the same home that I was raised in, I have lived and dated in several neighborhoods, from West Hollywood to Encino, Santa Monica to Mar Vista. And, to be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t like LA, and in fact had plans to leave, until I finally moved to Santa Monica- which is where I found my people. That’s the beauty of this vast city of little nooks. Each zip code has its own identity, style, and attitude. So if you’re not finding what you’re looking for on in spot, uber over to the next. And if, after relocating several times, you still can’t find your people, then I advise that you examine yourself to determine what’s wrong with you, because it’s clearly not them.

Here’s why LA is a great place to date

1. Everyone wants to stand out. And while that can be annoying at times, the great news is that in order to stand out, you’ve got to be interesting in some way. Sure, there are bunches of beautiful and “creative” models, actors, “directors and producers,” who try to define themselves based on their looks or IMDB page. Yes, there are more than a few flakey and flighty people. And while the starry-eyed types might, in many way, define the city and even blanket it, there is much more substance beneath the thin layer of fluff. Your job is to find those interesting, dynamic, intellectual people with varied attitudes, careers, and lifestyles. How? Be it. And you will attract it.

2. Because most aren’t home grown, many are trying to find roots by creating interest-based connections. This is where the vast assortment of meet-up groups, classes, and events come in. Entrepreneur groups like Ivy and Silicon Beach, Pinot’s Palette painting and wine classes, just wine classes at Learn About Wine, hiking groups, Young Literati at the Downtown Public Library, Avant-Garde at LACMA, even tech classes at the Apple Store attract single and looking lost Angelenos looking to partner up on common ground.

3. Our BBM (bigger, better, more) ADD attitude allows for something shiny, new, and beautiful around every corner! And I’m not just talking about people and cars. Restaurants, bars, lounges, and even grocery stores are constantly trying to one up each other by renovating, bringing in celebrity chefs/mixologists, and creating TV-ready atmospheres and environments that set the stage for romance. Even dive bars are designed to have the perfect divey appearance. So if you’re out and trying to pickup on someone, you can use your location as a conversation starter.

Need at little help when it comes to opening lines? If you’re hanging out at SALT in Marina Del Rey, comment on the sailboats docking mere feet in front of you and ask your prey if she has ever sailed out of the marina. Strolling Olvera Street? Go up to your person of interest and say “Hola, cual es tu restaurante favorito?” It’s ok that you don’t speak Spanish. It will take them off guard. Even more, it will take you off guard if they respond in Spanish! Can’t decide between the sea bass or salmon at Whole Foods? Ask the single chick beside you which she thinks is the better choice on the BBQ. The point? The location gives you a place to start a conversation that is so much better than, “You remind me of my big toe. I think I’m going to bang you on my coffee table.” Yeah- that really is a pickup line.

Come on. You live in LA. You’ve got to have some amount of creativity pulsing through your veins. So get out of your comfy blaming dating box and let the city be your wingman.