How to Find Love App Dating AND Conversation Starters

Want to find love app dating? You can. IF you are strategic about it.

What do you say to up your chances of getting a response on a dating app? Swiping left and right isn’t just meant as a fun exercise. Nor is it solely for singles looking to hookup. Take control of the swipe dating platform if you want to find a date with relationship potential.

A few things to keep in mind BEFORE you put your profile up:

  1. Know your dating purpose (Fun, Exploration, or Relationship). Then make sure that you are on-purpose in your conversation style. Be sure that your desire matches your words matches your actions. That is called integrity. Have integrity in your dating.
  2. It’s easy to fall into text-style conversation. Which doesn’t lend itself to substantive conversations that create a real connection. Take control of the app! Don’t let the platform or the form control your style of communication and engagement. It doesn’t have to be back and forth text style.
  3. When it comes to your profile, put your best foot forward. Put effort into it. Both the written and photo components MUST be strategic and with thought behind it.
  4. Put up between 4 and 6 photos including a full body photo. Your main photo should be chest and up, looking at the camera, smiling, wearing no sunglasses. Show your face!
  5. When it comes to the ice breaker conversation, think about what would engage you. How you would want to be approached. Not just what would make you feel good, but what would actually engage you.
  6. Be authentic. Show your humanity- that breaks the barrier and is disarming. Be quirky. Be real. Be YOU!
  7. Don’t try to be sarcastic. Sarcasm doesn’t translate over text and without knowing your humor. It comes across as rude, dismissive, offensive, or jerky.
  8. When continuing the conversation, remember- Comment, Share, Ask. Comment on something, share something about yourself, ask a question.
  9. Surface conversation is the “what.” Conversation of depth is the “why.” Make sure to tell and ask “why.”
  10. Just because they don’t ask you a question, doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested. Some people simply aren’t good at app conversation. That being said, you still do need to share. The strategy to do that is by asking a question, then sharing your own answer.
  11. Don’t “Lily Pad!” When they share, don’t just skip to the next topic- that’s what I call “lily padding.” Instead, acknowledge what they said, and ask about the “why,” or hone in on a specific detail that you want to know more of. The smaller and more focused the question, the more insightful and interesting the answer can be. And that’s where you connect.
  12. Prequalify. Don’t just go out on a date without any information. You are setting yourself up for yet another bad date. Get to know each other over the app, then have a phone date, and finally go out on a date.

NOW… How to strike up a conversation:

The purpose of a conversation starter it to start a conversation! It’s not just about making a statement.

You need to ask a question. That being said, asking a question that elicists a one word answer isn’t starting a conversation.

When doing dating app outreach, first consider what would engage you? What question asked would you honestly want to answer?
Would you want someone to ask you “what’s up?” or “how’s your week going?” Probably not.
What would actually engage you, make you want to answer, and maybe even intrigue you about the person?

Here are 10 app dating ice breakers that will do exactly that:

1. Quick, what does “this” emoji make you think about- first thing that comes to mind… (obviously enter a random emoji next to the “this”)

2. Ketchup, mayo, or other… and why? As for me…

3. I would have regret not saying Hi. So… Hi. I’m Laurel.

4. What one thing are you currently on a quest for? As for me: the perfect gimlet.
(follow up question: Why? As for me, gimlets, gin gimlets specifically, were my grandma’s favorite drink. She was a definite firecracker, in fact her code wname in the Navy was “Sparky.” More than a firecracker, she was a woman of strength and standards. We only became close a couple of years before she passed away, so I let her life and legend live on in the cocktail)

5. Chocolate chips cookies or chips? And why? As for me…

6. What one thing made you smile today? And why? As for me…

7. What 5 apps do you use most on your phone? And why? As for me…

8. One truths and a lie… Here are mine: X. Which is the lie? YOU?

9. When you o grocery shopping, what is your one must buy item? And why? As for me…

10. Tell me 2 things that are on your bucket list and why… Here are mine. You?