10 Reasons Why Tinder Isn’t For You

We all like immediate gratification. Problem is… finding your future Mr/Mrs Right isn’t so easy. And you don’t want it to be. As cliché as it may sound, what we value most, we must work for. That doesn’t mean spinning your wheels. Dating strategically is essential when it comes to efficiently and effectively seeking out and attracting in that great someone for you. Thoughtlessly right swiping, essentially throwing spaghetti at the walls, is not strategic. It’s gaming. And while Tinder may be fun, you’re not looking for fun. You’re looking for real. Here are 10 Reasons Why Tinder Isn’t For You. (Not to worry, I have a list of 7 alternatives to Tinder too).

1. You’re looking for love
2. You prefer to prequalify before meeting in person
3. You’re sick of having 1st dates that don’t lead to a 2nd
4. You don’t like to go in blind
5. You don’t have time for games
6. You don’t believe in dating multiple people at once
7. You’re not hot, rich, or fun
8. You don’t have time to waste
9. You prefer dinner dates
10. You believe in gender roles

Here’s what I mean…

1. You’re looking for love
Tinder has a reputation of being a hook-up app… for a reason. Sure, you absolutely might luck out and find love on Tinder. But many users view it as an app “for Entertainment purposes.” It’s a numbers game that’s more about flirty text-style exchanges and quick “lets grab a drink” dates that allow for in-person conversation on a similarly superficial level. If you want substance, you need to build a foundation first.

2. You prefer to prequalify before meeting in person
While you can tinker with Tinder’s setup and force more detailed questions on potential daters who outreach to you for instadates, since it’s not normally done, your attempt at actually getting to know a person beyond their pictures before a date might get shut down.

3. You’re sick of having 1st dates that don’t lead to a 2nd
Extensive prequalifying is the #1 best way to minimize your chances of knowing within 30 seconds that your date is a waste of time, therefore increasing your chances of getting to a 2nd date. But… Tinderers aren’t really into prequalifying. Instead of substantive back and forth exchanges that allow you to get to know this online face, you might have a few quick text-style flirty messages before blindly committing to spending in-person time together.

4. You don’t like to go in blind
“Hey, I like your pics. Want to grab a drink?” While you might see their photos, you have no idea who this person really is. Aside from face value, unless you are bucking the system and forcing real conversation down your prospective partner’s mouths, you are going in blind, deaf, and dumb.

5. You don’t have time for games
Games are fun. But not when it comes to playing with your heart. The Tinder format starts gamelike- swipe left or right- and dates often continue in a similar style.

6. You don’t believe in dating multiple people at once
With the quick right and left swiping, it’s likely that several prospects will respond, you’ll engage in conversation with multiple people, and end up going out with a handful of them. If you’re a one-person dater from the get go, then an app like this isn’t for you as you’re pretty much guaranteed that while that great catch is planning a date with you, they’ve got 3 others in play too.

7. You’re not hot, rich, or fun
Tinder is all about the photos. If you don’t present yourself as hot, doing something that shows how rich you are, or engaging in an activity that is fun, you’re lowering your chance of a match.

8. You don’t have time to waste
Going on dates based solely on looks can be a huge time waste. It’s often times exactly why from the moment you sit across from someone you’re already ready for the night to end. Little prequalifying translates to a low rate of first date success.

9. You prefer dinner dates
The app platform and the text-style of communication that Tinder breeds is casual by nature. Because it’s casual, dates tend to have a similar style- casual. Drinks are common. Dinner isn’t.

10. You believe in gender roles
With the casual style, communication, and dates of Tinder also comes loose gender roles. You are less likely to engage in the “formality” of chivalry.

All of that said, Tinder has its place in the dating space. It promotes fun, flirting, and spontaneity, all of which dating should also be. It’s all about finding the balance that best suits your personality.